Fire Burning Brightly
by what-happened-in-peru
Summary: AU Life in like a candle, burning before being snuffed out. Gilbert has fallen in love with a young boy who seems so strong even though he has gone through so much.


**Okay M here. I wrote this story a long time ago but B took forever to edit. Some people may find this triggering, I am sorry if you do but this whole story was inspired from a line from the book ****Allegiant**** by Veronica Roth. The line is "I suppose a fire that burns that brightly is not meant to last.****_" _****That line is her's not mine, I don't own anything in this. Written by M~**

Gilbert smiled as the boy with golden hair was introduced to his class. He could barely hear the boy state his name, let alone what school he was from. Luckily, the teacher sighed and pointed to the only open seat in the room-next to him. Gil sat eagerly as the boy made his way to his new spot.

As the blond walked by the large Russian student in the class, he topped over face-first. Gilbert glared at the extended foot, obviously belonging to Ivan. To his surprise, the new student somehow managed to get up with a smile and continue to his seat as if nothing had happened. Gilbert had to admit, that took a lot to ignore being bullied on the first day. The teacher carried on with the class and Gilbert used this opportunity to speak with the boy.

"Hey, I didn't catch your name. My name's Gilbert, what's yours?" he whispered. The other student was visibly startled at the sudden confrontation.

"Oh . . . Hi, umm, my name is Matthew," the blond one mumbled. Gilbert smiled at him but it faltered when he heard the small voice say, "I can't believe someone paid any mind to me at all."

The albino started at him in disbelief before saying, "Of course I did! How could I not notice someone as cute as you?" Gilbert studied Matthew's reaction. He could see that Matthew didn't think he had spoken his thought out loud. The adorable face before him was tinted pink as he registered the compliment. Matthew muttered a small thank you and turned his attention to the teacher.

Gil, uninterested and the lesson as usual, looked at the way the early morning sunlight hit Matthew's hair. He examined the violet eyes, slightly obscured by thin wire glasses. He chuckled as they slid down his nose. As the thin boy pushed them back up, Gilbert tore the corner off his worksheet and scribbled down a note, asking Matthew if he'd like to eat lunch with him and his friends. He flicked the paper and watched as he picked it up and read it. The blond looked over to Gilbert in surprise but nodded yes.

The boy gave a shy smile but graced Gilbert with no response until the very end of class. As he slipped away, he laid the paper down in front of Gil. The albino picked it up and saw a room number with a note stating that it was the class Matthew had before lunch. Looking up, the boy was gone.

* * *

Gilbert counted down the seconds before his class ended. He couldn't wait to see Matthew again, though it had only been two hours. When the bell rang he grabbed his bag and ran out the door.

"How's it going, Mattie?" the albino asked when he arrived, clapping him on the shoulder.

"Honestly, I'm really happy since I thought you weren't going to come," Matthew confessed. Gilbert put his arm around the smaller one's shoulders and walked him down the hall where he and his friends normally ate lunch.

"Of course I would come. I'm not some douche that would leave his friends hanging," Gilbert explained. Matthew nodded but smiled at being called a friend. Gilbert opened a classroom door at the end of a hallway.

"Why aren't we eating in the cafeteria?" the quiet one asked.

"_Eins_, it smells. _Zwei_, it is unawesome _und drei,_ it's just us and a few other awesome people here. We aren't bothered by the teachers so we can engage in our typical shenanigans all lunch. See? Here come the others; Antonio with his 'I am not your boyfriend' boyfriend named Lovino," Mathew giggled at Gil's imitation of an Italian accent. He paused, listening to Matthew's laugh before continuing. "Francis; Lovino's brother, Feliciano; and his boyfriend Ludwig, who is also my brother," he explained, pointing each person out as they entered.

After a few informal introductions to Matthew, Feliciano whisked the poor boy to the other side of the room. Gilbert, immediately aware of the boy's absence and rushing to be beside him again, was blocked by Antonio and Francis. He tried to see over them to know what Matthew and Feliciano were doing but his view was obscured.

"Who are you and what have you done with Gil?" the Spaniard asked. "You're . . . different around this new student." The Spaniard raised an eyebrow.

"_Oui, mon ami._ You've never brought anybody here before, not even that girl you were 'in love' with before," Francis continued, adding air quotes.

"Guuuys…" Gilbert whined, "Mattie's different! You didn't see him today when he was being picked on. He kept smiling and ignored it. Nothing could break his spirit and I admired them for that."

"Gil, we know how sympathetic you are after the accident but did it occur to you Matthew might be used to something worse?" Francis tried to suggest.

Gilbert snapped, his nostrils flared and eyes like daggers, "You know how I feel when we talk about that day. If anything worse has happened to Mattie . . . that's impossible. If you're hurt that badly, you can't smile that much. If you look, he doesn't even have any scars, no cuts or bruises. He is a _bright light_ and guys, I will mess you up if you screw with my chances of being with him." He finished off with a smile.

"If you are so sure, Gil. We will stand by you. At least you have finally found someone you like," Antonio said, smiling back. Feliciano came back with Matthew who looked like he was in a daze.

"Hey Mattie, wanna leave and eat our lunch somewhere else?" Gilbert said looking over to Matthew.

"Yes please!" he replied quickly. They exited the classroom after a few goodbyes and found a staircase to sit under and eat their lunches in peace.

"So, what were you and Feli talking about? You seem bothered by something."

"Well . . . he said something about that room and that if you bring someone to it you tend to fall in love. He also told me to never ask about something but I really want to know. He said you would get upset if I asked about it," Matthew explained with a blush and a quick look of shame.

"I have a feeling I know what this is about . . . I'll let you ask if I can ask you something personal after."

"Deal. So what happened on February 25th?" Gilbert stiffened immediately when the words left Matthew's mouth.

"I'm sorry; I won't mention it again."

Gil ran a hand through his frazzled hair. "No, a deal is a deal. Since I am so awesome, I need to follow through with this. You see, on February 25th, that was the worst day ever for me. I lost my land, my home, my brother . . . it was so much. I felt like the world was laughing at me and kicking me when I was down. My parents died in a car accident on the 4th; on the 13th we were adopted into this family. They did horrible things, things I can't even put into words. Ludwig never saw that side of the family, only me. When the mother started to . . . do things to me, I left. I tried to get Ludwig to join me but since he never saw the underbelly of our caretakers, he liked it there and yelled at me what he saw as ruining his chance to be happy.

"On the 25th of February, I tried to end my life. I was alone and tired and done fighting. There was nothing left for a troublemaker like me but somehow, I survived the jump off the roof of this school. Antonio and Francis found me, called for an ambulance and they haven't left me since," Gilbert went silent after this long speech. He felt so vulnerable that after telling that story; not even Ludwig knew what happened. He didn't know why he felt okay with telling someone he just met all about his darkest hour, but didn't question it. He felt Matthew's arm wrap around him and found the fabric of his t-shirt wet with tears.

"Why are you crying? It's not like it happened to you," Gilbert said. Matthew shook his head, face still pressed to his neck.

"I know, but I have a feeling that you didn't cry. I have a feeling that you bottled everything in, all the pain and torment you felt," Matthew sobbed.

"...I guess you got that right. I never did cry when my parents died, or when I fought with my brother. Enough about me for now, what's your story?" Gilbert asked, wiping tears away from Matthew's violet eyes with his thumb.

"Well, I don't really know where to start. I live with my step-dad and my step-brother. My dad died a long time ago when he tried to save my mom from a house fire. They only thing I know about her is that her name was Jeanne. He was already friends with this guy, my step-father, and when I was left alone I was adopted. My new father and I never saw eye to eye. I was always forgotten or yelled at for something I didn't do. I started writing down letters about what was happened and how I was feeling. Those random pieces of paper became a diary for me and I still have all of them," Matthew sighed with a smile.

Gilbert was the one who hugged this time. He came in at an awkward angle that when Matthew lifted his head, their lips met. Both were completely surprised, but neither pulled away.

"That was nice," Matthew spoke in a voice just below a whisper. If Gilbert wasn't so close he wouldn't have heard it.

"Yeah, it was pretty nice," Gilbert said, licking his lips. "You taste like maple syrup." Matthew blushed bright red at this, and then realized that Gilbert hadn't pulled away.

"Birdie, do you want to go get ice cream after school? Like . . . a date," Gilbert asked, hope lacing his words.

Breathless, the blonde's face lit up and he nodded. "You . . ._ you_ want to go out with _me?_" He seemed ecstatic. A look of confusion graced his face for a moment. "What's with the nickname?"

Gilbert's cheeks were dusted pink before he responded, "I used to have this bird that I adored as a kid. He was so cute-I called him Gilbird. My parents opened his cage once and he flew away. You reminded me of him because you're so cute and free spirited."

"Well, thank you for the compliment, Gil." Matthew giggled. The bell rang signalling the start of their next class.

* * *

The end of the day never seemed to come as slow as it did that day for Gilbert. When the damn bell rang, he nervously ran to his locker. He forgot to set up a place to meet his Birdie so he began the epic hunt to find him. It took him about ten minutes to find the poor boy, sitting on the ground under the staircase where they ate lunch. Gilbert couldn't help but stare at Matthew writing on a piece of paper while tears silently streamed down his face.

"Mattie..?" Gilbert said, drawing the attention of the blonde's attention away from the paper and up to him. Matthew looked up and started crying harder when his eyes met the fiery crimson ones.

"I thought it happened again; I thought you were just messing with me and that you left me after making me so . . . happy!"

Gilbert crouched down to Matthew's level and tilted his chin up. He leaned in slowly as to not frighten the boy and placed his lips on his. Regardless of the slow approach, the blond squeaked at the contact and Gil smiled into his chapped lips. Matthew seemed to melt into Gil's touch, placing his hands behind his neck and pulling him closer. They moved their mouths in perfect rhythm, noses brushing as they tilted their heads and stopped to breathe. Gilbert's voice fell to a whisper.

"Don't you ever, EVER, think I'd forget about you. I told you, I'd never leave you like that." Gilbert said seriously, staring deep into Matthew's eyes. "Now let's go get that ice cream," he added, cracking a smile and holding out his hand.

* * *

The two boys had soon become the ideal couple. Everyone secretly idolized their love for each other. It was Valentine's Day and Gilbert had something really special planned. He had managed to convince Matthew's horrible stepfather to leave the house that day so it could be just the two of them. Alfred, Matthew's stepbrother, was even going to avoid going home until very late at night so it could just be the two of them.

Gilbert had it all planned out, except for the part where Elizaveta said she needed to talk to him. "Hey big boy. Still swinging for the other team?" the young girl chimed.

"What do you want Lizzie?" Gilbert asked, the words rolling off his tongue in complete boredom. He skipped the last 5 minutes of history to speak to her. She was wasting his time; he couldn't miss Mattie on his way out of class!

"Well see, Roddy left me and I don't want to be alone on Valentine's day so I-"

_Briiiiiiiing_

The bell interrupted her. Damn it! If he didn't move fast, Mattie might leave without him. "Sorry, what did you say?" Gilbert inquired, hoping she'd just spit it out.

She sighed heavily and shrugged her shoulders. Then, without warning, she grabbed his shirt collar and slammed her lips into his. He stood there in complete shock. Finally, the kiss registered and he shoved her away by the shoulders.

"What do you say Gilly-boy? Wanna spend the night with me?" Elizaveta said with a smirk across her face.

_Take a hint, bitch._ Gilbert's faced turned into absolute disgust, "Are you kidding me? I have a perfectly happy relationship with a wonderful guy and I will be lucky if I can get the chance to explain everything to him before he does something rash."

He turned, leaving her in his trail of anger. He was angry at her for kissing him, angry at himself for getting close to her, and slightly angry at Mattie. He couldn't seem to find him anywhere! He had checked everywhere-both their lockers, the classrooms, under the staircase . . . he had even managed to track down Alfred who told him that Mattie had just looked pretty upset when he left school 10 minutes ago. Gilbert swore under his breath and started running to Matthew's house.

* * *

"Birdie? Are you there?" He tried again, louder this time, banging on the door. No response. Panicking a bit, he sprung for the spare key he knew was kept in the mailbox. Gilbert looked around, a little worried at this point. What if he had done something drastic? What if he really _didn't_ know the whole story?

The house was so silent Gilbert's ears rang. With a sinking feeling in his stomach, he opened the door to Matthew's room. The blonde didn't even seem to notice him walk in. He was crouched on the ground, kneeling in the corner with his shoulders shaking. As Gilbert approached the trembling figure, he realized there were hasty whispers pouring from the boy's mouth.

_"You said you loved me. You said you would never leave me. You said I'd never be alone but here I am, again. You're a liar. A LIAR. Just like everyone else. Everyone just has to hurt me, don't they? Lead me on and let me down. Ha, haha, HAHAHA, well the joke's on them, because look at me now. They won't be able to hurt me anymore, not once I'm gone." _

That last part shocked Gilbert out of his stupor and he rushed over. "Matthew Williams, stop this. Now, you gotta listen to me! Mattie!"

The blond continued to stare wide-eyed at the ground in front of him. Slowly, a crazed grin broke out upon his face. _"Haha, I'll be free! Free to dream, free to float. They can laugh all they want. All the names, all the bruises, all the cover ups, it'll be over!"_

"BIRDIE, LISTEN TO ME! It was a misunderstanding; let me explain, PLEASE!"

_"Bye everyone, I hope you all die slowly and painfully. Let me be an example~" _And with that, Gil saw only a flash of silver appear before a blade was plunged into Matthew's chest. His body slumped forward as the albino let out a high-pitched scream. Why didn't he see the knife? Why couldn't he shake Matthew out of his trance? Why couldn't he have gotten here earlier, or refused to talk to Elizaveta?

He couldn't do anything but hold Matthew's head in his lap. He sobbed, repeating over and over "I love you." Finally, the life drained from his beloved's face. He leant down and pressed his lips to the already pale and chilling ones.

As he raised his watery eyes he gasped. There was an entire wall covered in pieces of paper. Placing Matthew's head gently on the red-stained carpet, he approached the wall. The closer he examined the papers, the faster the tears fell from his eyes.

Together, the papers made his suicide note, explaining his tale.

At ten years old,_ "He hit me again. I was bad and I got hit. People are going to ask questions and just hit me some more. I dunno how much longer I can take this."_

At thirteen: _"Today I found a razor blade and tried to see if cutting would make me feel any better. It was a nice thought but people would be so disappointed in me when all I've ever done is try to please them. I'm trying to stay strong but I don't know how much longer I can stare at the virgin blade. Every time I think I'm going to cut myself, I chicken out. I want to make everybody proud of me so I ignore the urge to cut but it is very tempting..." _

Gilbert noticed the dates of the slips of paper were at lease once a week after that. There must have been hundreds of post-its, lined notebook sheets, corners torn off of old math notes, sometimes full sheets. One thing he noticed was that after he and Matthew got together, the notes were less and less frequent, and then stopped. Until the one dated for today.

Gilbert took that one off the wall and read the letter over and over. Matthew had been bullied, beaten and shamed every single day, but seeing Gil had made it okay. He felt he could go on as long as he was with him but then he saw him kissing Elizaveta. He read how Matthew thought that everything turned on him in that moment and that he didn't have a reason to live anymore.

The end of the note read, "And Gilbert-I will always love you." Gilbert stood, unable to move from his spot. Matthew was supposed to be the free one, free like a bird, but in reality he felt more trapped than anyone else. Like a flame burning brightly, trapped in the confines of its candelabra.

_I suppose a fire that burns that brightly is not meant to last_, he thought to himself. He numbly dropped the note and began to walk. As his actions registered, he felt a sense of déjà vu; he had perched himself on the edge of the school's roof just like that fateful February day.

Gilbert fished in his pocket for a marker. "I'll see you soon, Birdie xoxo," he scrawled on his arm.

Letting out a slow breath, he let himself fall over the edge feeling the wind whiz past him. On impact, he felt nearly unbearable pain, but he welcomed the darkness with a content smile. He wasn't going to be alone any more. He'd be with his love once again. He grinned as he lost consciousness, knowing that it was only a matter of time before he truly joined Matthew in happiness forever.


End file.
